Spellbound

Chapter 1 : I Blow Up a Random Person

"I can't believe that I have finally made it to sixth grade," I told my mom.
"Well you have a good day Liana." she said.
I jumped out of our bright blue pickup and turned around to hug my mom. She hugged me back and I headed off to the most interesting day of my life, and i'm not talking about middle school.
I walked in and looked at the scedeual I had gotten the day before. I started walking to my homeroom which was on the other side of the school. I walked in and found a seat with my name on it. I started to look around but was interupted by a flying piece of paper hitting my face.
"What the." I opened the paper and found a small rhyme on it. I looked around the room, the only other people were a bunch of girls talking and doing there makeup. I looked at the rhyme and tried to sound out the words. I started wispering the rhyme to myself.

"The time of powers has come
and shall be discovered by some.
The ones that shall become the keepers of the the ring
and only held back by one small thing.
They must find eachother, they must reach The Mie.
And one of them is I."

I put the paper in my desk and imedietly the bell rang. I felt like someone who had just been squashed underneath a train. My head hurt like crazy, my body felt like it was on fire, and my hands were numb. The rest of the class walked in and right behind them was the teacher. The pain stopped and I sat up.
"Hello class," the teacher said. "My name is Mrs. Jacobs and this will be your homeroom."
"Like we didn't know that," someone behind me snickered.
"I will now take rolecall." said Mrs. Jacobs. "Maria?"
"Here."
"Harry?"
"POTTER!"
"Brendon?"
"Here."
"Arizona?"
That name caught my attention. I just felt like we needed to be friends.
"Here" she replyed. She was a thin girl with brown hair, tanned skin, glasses, and she sat right infront of me. Mrs. Jacobs continued rolecall.
"Chris?"
"Yo."
"Luna?"
"Here."
"Christine?"
"Here and as bored as ever."
"Marco?"
"POLO!"
"Liana?"
"Here!" I said.
"Luke?"
"Here."
"Lasey?"
"Here."
"Bradon?"
"Hey."
"Kassey?" That name caught my attention to. I turned around to a tall girl with brown choppy hair, green eyes, light enough skin to be a vampire, and a scar on her left cheek.
"Here." she grumbled.
The rest of class was a breeze. We just talked about the rules and got our locker combos. I was right next to Kassey and Arizona. When class ended, some kid decided to pull the fire alarm and we were rushed out into the cold rain. Sence it was the first day, no one new were to go. So our class just ran of into the field for a "short brake" and I caught up with Kassey.
"Hello" I said.
"Hello random person." she replyed.
"I'm Liana."
"I hate the rain, wanna go under the tree?" She pointed tword a big oak tree that didn't let any rain through it.
"Alright" I said.

When we got under the tree, Kassey sat down and I sat down next to her. The girl who I remember to be Arizona came over and sat next to me. She had green eyes also and freckles. Suddenly, I reached into my pocket and the paper was there, my eyes widened, and the paper started glowing. I dropped it and it stopped. Arizona and Kassey were staring at it.
"What just happened?" asked Arizona.
"For the life of me, I don't know." said Kassey.
Then I felt something on my neck. Appearently the same thing happened to Arizona and Kassey. There was a cloud shapped amulet on my neck. Arizona had a fire, and Kassey had a black hand.
"What the heck is going on?!"yelled Kassey.
"I have not even the slightest idea" I replyed.

Suddenly, time seemed to stop. Everyone but us froze. A boy running was stuck in mid air, a girl talking to her friends had her mouth open, and all the rain was frozen in time. I looked around in awe and saw that our amulets were glowing. Arizona's mouth was wide open and Kassey ran out from under the tree to pickpocket the principal. When she came back, she was holding a cool pen. It was dark blue with a color changing ball at the top. I grabbed it to take a look and it grew into a staff.
"HOLY COW!" I yelled.
Kassey grabbed it and it turned back into a pen. Arizona took it and examaned it. I wanted her to give it back to me so I could grow it back. It immediatly flew into my hand and grew to staff size.
"Woah." she said. Then I pointed at the tree, I wanted it to glow. Suddenly, it did just that.
"OH MY GOSH I HAVE POWERS!!!" I turned to Kassey. "Think what you want to happen." I told her.

She made a light form in her hand, Arizona and I did the same. We all stood in awe at our new powers.
"Best. Day. EVAR!" said Arizona.
I stared at the light I made.
"Feels like water." Kassey said.
Then she threw her light at me. I step sided and threw mine at her. Soon we were throwing and dodgeing like a water balloon fight. So far, no one had gotten hit. I was making mine start changing color like the orb on my pen/staff. I kept throwing. Kassey kept throwing. Arizona kept throwing. Suddenly, a light hit Arizona. There was a bright flash. When it died down, Arizona, a girl I just met, was gone.

I will keep posting more chapters if you like it.

Harry?

POTTER!

... Hannahhhhh, you need to correct your grammar/spelling... silly goose!

Other than that, I just think you introduced the conflict of the story too soon, and didn't leave enough time to develop the characters' personality and friendships.

BUT GOOD JOB ON WHAT YOU DID RIGHT!

#1: I am going to have the friendship and personality go on with the story.
#2: I don't have word on this computer so I didn't have spell check.
#3: This is supposed to be for positive comments.

1. Howwww, when one of them suddenly poofed?
2. You should at least be able to spell "all" right by fifth grade..
3. Constructive criticism is positive!

I fixed it and here is another chapter.

Chapter 2: We Steal the Principal's Car

"What did you do?! I yelled at Kassey.
"I don't know!"
"Well, your the one that hit her!"
"You don't think I know that?!"
I sighed. "Well, we need to find out what happened. If she was transported or vaporized.
"Well, I can only think of one thing."
"What?"
She pulled out some keys. With a shock, I realized that they were the principal's car keys.
"Your not thinking about ditch-"
"Yup!"
"Do you even know how to drive?" I asked her. I had a feeling she had done this before.
"Ya, it'll probably be easier with everyone else frozen. Come on!" She started running tword the parking lot. I had no choice but to follow. As we were running I thought of something.
Was everything else really frozen? Hmmm...
I was interupted by Kassey.
"Stupid wires!" she yelled. I realized that she was, hotwiring it?
"Don't you already have the keys?"
"Opps, habbit." With that she stuck the keys into the car and the engeian roared to life. The principal had a red minivan with the words "Don't get in trouble kids" on the bumper.
"Where are we going?" I said while putting on the seatbelt in the passenger's seat.
"I don't know, just somewhere away from here." With that, she floored the gas and we were swearving around cars in no time.
"What should we do?" I asked her.
"I'm no- LOOK!!" she screamed. I looked to where she was pulling in. Flashes were coming from a window. The house was yellow and two-storied.
"Come on." Kassey wispered. We crept over to the window. It was big enough that we could both look through. What I saw shocked me. Sitting in the room was Luna, and she was making glowing orbs fly around her.
"What is sh-"
"Shhhh!!!!" Kassey hissed to me.
I shut-up and watched. Luna was a girl fom our class. Now that I think about it, I didn't see her outside. Suddenly she turned in our direction, screamed and, I guess she transported us into the room.
"What are you doing?!" she snapped at us.
"I think the question is, what are YOU doing Luna?" Kassey said. I looked at her and noticed that she had a black hand amulet, just like Kassey's.
"I am- wait." she paused. "I am practicing my powers. And now you?"
"We are, or were, watching those glowy orb thingy-ma-jigs. What were those?" Kassey answered.
"I am trying to perfect orb throwing. It takes years to be able to throw them." she anwsered back.
"Just out of the blue, what would happen if someone got, I don't know, hit with one of them?" I asked.
Luna looked at me.
"They would be transported to The Mie."
"What is that?"
"A world of monsters."
I glared at Kassey. "Our friend kind of got hit......"
"Let me guess, just got your powers?" Luna asked.
"Ya.... kind of...." we answered.
"Then there is only one way to get her back."
"What is it?" Kassey asked.
"You must gather ingredients from another world and bring them back to me."

YOu could always install a spell checker.

I like it so far. Like Emzan, try installing a spell checker, or Firefox, Safari, and Google Chrome - each have a spellchecker with them!